Prayers Unanswered
by miikarin
Summary: ~*~ON HOLD~*~This is a sad fic about Duo, if you want to know the story, start reading, and I warn you, that as the genre implies, there will be deaths here, but not any violent ones. Also, Duo is thinking about his past life.


A/N: this is my first fic starring Duo, I didn't want it to be angst and stuff, but I am writing this out of an idea that came to me after remembering a prayer, and also listening to some songs. I hope you read and review, it would give me great encouragement. 

This wasn't easy to come up with, it took several hours of dreaming, put together with more research on one of my most fave characters of all time – Duo! I have the whole story in my head and just have yet to type it out. As you can see, I try and offer an explanation to his behaviours, and I watch the English version of Gundam Wing, also I haven't watched all the episodes and have been trying to watch the movie but can't find it yet, so please pardon any mistakes. 

I did not mean to make poor Duo-chan suffer so much, but I just wanted to show that some feelings run deep. I know some may think he is out of character, in a way he is, but at the same time, I feel he is also in character. Weird, ne? 

If you are totally lost, don't worry, it will get better, and maybe you won't hate me as much. 

Disclaimer: yada, yada, yada. You've heard it before so why should I bother? Ok…for those who haven't or are just really dense…here it is: 

I don't, never have, and never will own Gundam Wing for as long as I live! *bursts into tears* 

On with the story! Sorry for the long A/N, I just wanted to explain things before I start getting all these flames for doing this to Duo! 

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**_Chapter 1_**  
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Now I lay myself down to sleep

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…and after that, I've never been the same. I've always wondered what it was like to actually hit rock bottom, well maybe I never really wondered, because I already knew, and I was pulled out by…  


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Duo shut the leather bound book and put it away. He didn't want to go there yet, he didn't want to face the truth. He wasn't ready and wanted to wake up and find out that this was all a dream. 

As he lay down in his bed, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The other pilots were starting to worry just a tiny bit about him. They in truth only saw a fraction of how he felt, if in fact he poured out his soul in his actions, they'd probably suggest he go to a doctor a shrink out of worry. 

How ironic…here I am, thinking that I don't want them to bring me to a shrink, when in my heart I know that, it is exactly what I need. Yet I don't want it. 

I thought that I'd never care about someone so deeply after my world came crashing down in my face…the day of the Maxwell Church massacre. How wretched I felt inside as I saw Father Maxwell's and Sister Helen's bodies. Sister Helen being so young with a whole life ahead of her to live. Then they died after giving me that cross. The cross that had saved my life so many times, but would be useless in my final journey. 

He was happy. That was what he remembered of his time at the Church. Though he had lost his family and friend, he felt like a real person in that Church. Father Maxwell and Sister Helen were like the parents that he never had. Sure he played a lot of jokes and pranks, heck he still does, but it was just to lighten the mood. 

He saw how sad war was making everyone, and wanted to change it so that people weren't always so sad when the subject worked its way into the conversation. He saw one day Sister Helen crying and had asked her why, she had answered, "because of the casualties of war." 

Duo had been too young to understand the full meaning that had been underlying what she said. He thought that she had lost someone close to her, and had tried to comfort her; he later found out that she had been crying for everyone that had died in the wars. She was so devoted to her religion and he had admired her for it, and since that day, he had tried his best to help people who were suffering because of the war. 

He never wanted to see someone so sad and touched by war that it tore them from the inside when they knew that the war was an ongoing mass of destruction that can never be averted. That's why, in his mind, he knew that he became a gundam pilot. Sure, he felt saddened by the war and all those lives lost, after all that's how he lost his family, but deep down, he became a pilot for Sister Helen. 

Unfortunately, he could only keep up appearances for so long. He had tried to be optimistic, and laughed at the face of death, like the incident with Wufei when the oxygen was running out, but he had always been losing hope constantly. 

He didn't know if having friends, in the form of the pilots, was a good idea. Before, when he fought alone, he could go somewhere in quiet solitude and reflect on the war and his past. Now, he was a guest at Quatre's mansion (or house as Quatre called it) and he was always around someone. 

He would worry someone if he was always going out and being alone. He had tried to make friends first with them because he somehow knew that even though they fought also, they hated war. He decided that maybe they would understand him, and they did, they understood everything that he chose to show them. 

But there was another side to him that not many had seen. It had been seen by people that he grew close to: Father Maxwell and Sister Helen saw some glimpses of that side; Solo knew that side well and had been the only one to truly understand him, until he met Hilde Schbeiker…and fell in love… 

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There! Done the first chapter! I will post the next chapters up soon, I plan to have 4 chapters, one for every line of the prayer. As I said before up there if you read, I hope I haven't made any mistakes and maybe you can tell me if I did, and I'll probably change it. 

Just please remember. This is my first fic in the gundam section, the first is a crossover between GW and Sailor Moon. I also don't have experience writing angst so can you please tell me your opinion and what I can improve? 

But I have to ask…please no flames…my courage is pretty fragile. If you didn't like the story, please tell me, but also tell me why not. Then I won't consider those a flame, just constructive criticism. There is however a fine line between flaming and constructive criticism that I am very well aware of. 

^_^;; sorry, I'm babbling. I'll end now. Thanx! 

~Hell's Dark Tenshi~ 

You can even e-mail me at **hellsdarktenshi@hotmail.com**


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